Maple and the Vet

Today is a Maple story worth being told, it was he yearly check up... the dreaded yearly check up... It is always an adventure with her. Today was nothing less, as we drove up to the building she was rather optimistic wagging her tail. We walked into the office and she quickly noticed other dogs and again was pretty pumped and began meeting and sniffing with introductions. At this point she was like, "this is the best day ever, dogs to play with and people walk by and I roll over and they scratch my belly... I mean seriously." The mood quickly changed, they called our name and first things first, the weigh in. This is where Maple wised up to what was going on, as I led her to the scale the tail went from the happy position to the "oh shit" position between her legs. She knew at this point she had been suckered again once again. From here we went into our room, we meet with the vet assistant for a minute and she needed to take her temperature... dogs do not get that taken in the mouth or ears... yep you guessed it right in the bum. Maple was strategically placed under my legs as to say you can't get me under here... that failed her. As I started to move her over that way, she locked eyes with me saying, "you sold me out, I trusted you and now this... by the way what are they going to do to me." I held Maples head to keep her focus, that was not hard to do, she kept eye contact with me for this one. As her temperature was being taken he eyes got a little wider and the stare a little deeper as to exclaim, "what the hell are you letting her do to me, this is not cool...oh if the tables ever turn, you are so screwed!" I know that some of you (Mom) might be thinking right now, why the bad language Brad, do you have to do it, do you feel cool using grown up words. My response is this, I believe if I could translate what Maple would like to say into words, these would be pretty close to these. So we made it past the thermometer and then we were alone again. Maple decided that escape was her best option, she paced the room in four circles looking to what she could do, walked up to each of the two doors multiple times and pushed at them with her nose and combed the floor to see if the wood at the bottom was flawed in anyway that she could abuse. After this seemed hopeless she decided that getting up on the bench with me would trying to hide behind my back would be the best option. Round two, titled: "Take this Vet, I will pee on you". The door opens again, Maple perks up and moves closer to me while moving her head in direct line with mine to lock eyes again and try to make a deal. "Hey listen I am sorry I crapped on your floor that time, I won't do it again, PLEASE GOD DON'T LET THEM TOUCH ME AGAIN, YOU HAVE NOT IDEA!" This time they needed to get some blood taken for tests, vet assistant number two comes up and sits down beside Maple and asked for a hug, Maple likes people said, "sure" and then he hugged her and before Maple could do anything vet assistant number one came at her with a needle to get the blood. While Maple had mobility taken from her, she fought back with whatever she had... so she took a pee right on there nice bench and the floor below, although I think it is because she was scared, she told me otherwise and said it was her way to stick it to "The Man". I am going to skip ahead about twenty minutes to the last thing we did, the shots. Maple is really tough, did not even budge with pain from the shots, but the last one was the Bordellio (something like that) for kennel cough. The vet did not tell me this one went up Maple's nose as a spray/liquid thingy. Guess where my head was... really close to Maples. She also did not tell Maples... so when the vet surprised her Maple tried to shoot it back at her with a sneeze like thing and lets just say that I will not have to worry about getting "kennel cough" either for the next year. On to the check out, I was paying decided to wash my hands really quick at the handwash station... tucked the leash into my belt thought that it would hold tight enough for a second. Maple saw an oppurtunity, freedom. She test the strength of the leash to my belt and was gone right to the door and as I walked up to her, she got really excited and was said,"you can end this", I grabbed the leash and led her back to the check out as she screamed, "DAMN YOU AND YOUR THUMBS!." When she got outside she was happy, got in the car and went to sleep for the next hour and a half. What a trip... I am looking forward to Vet Trip 2010.