I fell off my bike and got my nose bit off by my Dog

I fell off my bike yesterday. Sarah and I were talking yesterday evening. She was sitting at the table and I was on my bicycle next to the counter. I was just sitting on my bike with my feet kind of in the "butterfly" stretch position on the middle bar. We were just chatting about our days and catching up. It was around 1030 or so. Did I mention that my neighbor downstairs hates when we make any type of noise on the floor. She even hates when we use the vacuum. Yes I am telling the truth. So anyways we were talking and making eye contact so I was not paying attention to the front tire of my bike. I was just holding onto the counter with my right hand to keep my balance. All of the sudden my front tire decided to turn just a little bit, just enough to cause the whole bike to shift to the right and how do I put it... move out from under me. Since my feet were in an awkward position I had no way to even try to protect myself. (Sarah is laughing while I type this) So I ended up landing on my back/butt square on the floor, which made a sound like we had just dropped a piano off of our counter at 1030pm. Luckily my head missed the table to the left and the metal stocking holders that were hanging on that table missed my head when they made the two following smaller thumps on the floor. As I lay contorted half on my laid over bike and half on the carpet. Sarah got up to see if I was okay and once she was confirmed that no major damage happened she burst into laughter. No story would be complete without Maple, so I must include her reaction to all this which honestly could be a blog in itself. About two seconds after I hit the floor, Maple decided this was some kind of game and she wanted in. She came flying across the apartment (she sounds like a mini horse on the floor) and proceeded to try to bite my nose off, multiple times. I would push her back and she would pursue a different angle to set up her attack. It was funny that me falling set off a reaction to her that would make biting my nose the appropriate course of action. (I ended up kicking her butt, I am bigger and have opposable thumbs) Well thanks for reading the long story. Good Night