When I get "old"

Today as I was sitting around with a few friends and my wife Sarah, she started to talk about what I was going to look like when I get older. We were sitting around with our friends new beautiful baby, Abbie. So the idea of age what an easy topic to grab onto. This is when I found out what my wife really thinks of me and what I apparently have to look forward to as an "old" man. At first I was thinking it was going to be a nice description, maybe I would have no hair or wrinkled skin or even an old man stroll when I walk. But I soon found out that my body is going to revolt against me in my wife's eyes. My ears are going to get really big, as well as my nose. My nose hair and ear hair are going to become out of control. My cheeks/jaw are going to sag or drop down a bunch. My eyes will disappear more so when I smile than they do now, they might even just be completely overlapped. Basically I am going to completely fall apart and begin to sag and wrinkle uncontrollably as al whole. Also, I will fart uncontrollably. (her words not mine) On the plus side she did not mention anything about the creepy old man hair that comes over your shirt collar, so I have that going for me. Which is nice.